“Your eyebrows. They’re plural.”

TV Show: Orange Is The New Black
Episode Title: Full Bush, Half Snickers
Original Air Date: June 9, 2017
Episode Number: 5×07

Episode Description

Black Cindy concocts a scheme to distract Suzanne when she spirals out of control. Taystee and Piper search for ways to honor Poussey’s memory.

My Review

They got me with how they memorialized Poussey. That whole scene got me tearing up and I loved it when Soso and Taystee made up and talked about how much they meant to each of them. Who helped Soso decorate the hallway with those books and hung them up from the ceiling with strings? That looked like a lot of work. I loved the brief scene of Janae reading one of the books and above the book she’s reading was hanging To Kill A Mockingbird which was the book her grade school class was discussing in her flashback episode. Speaking of Janae, I continue to enjoy the fact that she’s helping Soso with her grief by having her exercise and punching pillows and running.

I was laughing so hard at Red’s reaction to seeing Blanca after her makeover. “Your eyebrows. They’re plural.” 😂 These two make for a great team and I can’t believe that Red cut off Humps’ thumb just like that. Blanca trying to distract the nurse by being seductive was very funny. “Come here often?” “Yes, I work here.” “Me too. I’m an inmate.” LOL.

Flaritza’s makeovers were definitely a hit. These two can make a killing out there in the real world and when they get out, they should definitely get together with Aleida and open a beauty salon. Invite Sophia, too. She can be the hairdresser. Alex definitely looked hot after that makeover. No wonder Piper pretty much attacked her upon seeing her. Glad that Nicky found a new girl to mack on. Forget about Lorna.

I should feel sorry about Lorna, but I don’t. I know she’s not right in the head and won’t listen to anyone about Vinnie being just like other men, but I still can’t sympathize with her because she kept using Nicky for her own good. That’s never cool.

The Hispanic inmates working with the white supremacists was very pleasant to see and all it took was coffee for them to not get in each other’s faces. And of course, once the coffee was gone, all hell broke loose. This is why coffee is essential, guys. Guess the peace and quiet for most of the episode wouldn’t last. Everyone is pissed off and hungry so of course tempers would flare.

Linda getting some from Boo, lol. She is going to be in for a world of hurt once Boo finds who she is.

Don’t care about Doggett’s drink getting pissed on by Angie and Leanne. I’m over this character already.

So great seeing the “old timers” getting high and just hanging out in Frieda’s bunker. Loved that Gina continues to be the stealth MVP of the season with her electrical skills. Keep doing you, girl.

I hope Gloria’s son is okay. If anyone can put a stop to this riot, Gloria can and I don’t think any of the inmates will stand up to her. She’ll move heaven and hell to go see her son, for sure.

There were so many great one-liners in this episode and below are just a few of my favorites:

“I’m so hungry your face is starting to look like a McChicken.”

“So much ugh, so little time.”

“I literally want to fuck myself right now.”

“Let us fix your bustedness.”

“You’re like the Basquiat to my Warhol.”

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“Depression is holding on and sadness is letting go”

TV Show: Orange Is The New Black
Episode Title: Flaming Hot Cheetos, Literally
Original Air Date: June 9, 2017
Episode Number: 5×06

Episode Description

Boo defends Doggett, Janae consoles Soso, and Lorna comes on to Nicky. While Alex lays low in the yard, Piper decides to take a stand.

My Review

Poussey coming back was great, but it would have been even better if Samira Wiley’s name was not included in the opening credits. I hate when shows do this whenever an old character comes back for a guest appearance and they would show the actor’s name in the credits because it ruins the surprise. It probably is a negotiating deal and behind the scenes contracts, but still. That should be outlawed from now on.

It was great seeing Poussey and Taystee’s first meeting and how they immediately hit it off. Taystee was correct. Alice In Wonderland was Poussey’s favorite book. They had such a pure and beautiful friendship that I’m sad all over again that we won’t ever get to see this kind of relationship on the show again. I don’t think there’s a friendship or relationship currently on the show that would equal Taystee and Poussey’s relationship.

I hate what Lorna is doing to Nicky and I hate that Nicky falls for it every time. This is an unhealthy cycle that needs to be broken for both of their emotional and mental sake. I just hope that Nicky doesn’t seek comfort in drugs if/when Lorna really breaks things off for good.

Loved that Frieda invited a select few to her bunker and her game room (!). Gloria, Jones, Gina, Norma, and Jones’ bunkmate (I don’t remember her name). Great selection of people right there and the only one missing is Red, but she’s too busy getting high and enjoying herself with Blanca (what an odd pairing, but they’re hilarious together). I hope that once things go back to normal that Frieda’s space is not compromised.

Taystee and the group (together with Piper) taking back the Hot Cheetos and Takis because they refuse to be bribed into releasing the hostages and then setting them on fire was great. I hope Nita and the governor will see that the inmates are being serious in having all of their demands being met and not to be placated by words (“we’ll work on it”, “we’ll see”).

My heart broke for Taystee when her mother rejected her again and refused to take her home and offer her a place to live. Can you imagine going through that at 18 years old and with no place to go? Such a hard life these women have and most of them are in prison for nothing malicious, they’re mostly there because of bad luck and of the circumstances of their childhood and their surroundings.

I really liked Janae and Soso’s conversation about Poussey and how Janae suggested to Soso that running will help her free her mind from being angry all the time. I want to see them bond and develop this friendship to something more meaningful. I agree with Soso’s speech: “I’m not sad. I’m angry. I hate everyone. Anyone laughing or smiling or being alive is fucking offensive to me and they should all just fucking die. And eventually, I’m just gonna burn up from rage and then I’ll just be dust. And I don’t know how to make it stop.” I’m in the same head space as she is now and it sucks feeling this way when your mind is not occupied by something.

It was great to see Ruiz come to her senses and joining Daya out on the lawn together with the rest of Alex’s resistance group. The two of them talking about Drake, Pitbull, and Fat Joe had me laughing. Aleida going to the TV station to be interviewed was very funny and I lost it when she started cursing and it just got progressively worse as she got mad at not being allowed to properly curse.

Lastly, I felt bad for Gina for not getting the recognition she deserves for turning the power back on. These inmates are not grateful at all and I kind of want Gina to turn off the power again just to spite them because I’m petty like that.

“Why even bother playin’ a game that’s rigged?”

TV Show: Orange Is The New Black
Episode Title: Sing It, White Effie
Original Air Date: June 9, 2017
Episode Number: 5×05

Episode Description

When the inmates’ antics make the morning news, Flaca and Maritza soak up the spotlight. Brandy and her crew auction off Judy to the highest bidder.

My Review

Damn, Danielle Brooks absolutely killed that last scene. What a powerfully moving performance. The writing was also spot-on because that was definitely a commentary on the current political and cultural climate here in the United States. If you’re not white, you’re already at a huge disadvantage. This country is so steeped in racism, it’s beyond ridiculous because you see all kinds of people from all over the world and while we should all be embracing these different cultures and different races, we’re all too busy being judgmental racists. Now don’t say you have never not once uttered or thought of something racist about another person because the truth is, we’ve all had our weak moments and have been guilty of being racists at varying degrees. Hell, I’m guilty of it too and I hate myself every time something like that even creeps up in my brain because the last thing I want is to be a fucking hypocrite.

Anyway, this is getting way too political for my liking. Back to the episode.

Taystee listening to Janae and speaking for all the Litchfield inmates was a great moment and I just hope that the fucking media make her speech the focus instead of making this all about Judy King. Oh, who am I kidding? For sure they’re going to make this all about the poor white woman who was unfairly treated in prison and who was held against their will. Yes, the media is also part of the problem that is contributing to the devolution of truth and honesty that newspapers and journalists should always aspire to. Okay, I’m getting sidetracked again.

Poor Janae getting disillusioned at such a young age and seeing the disparity between the privileged youths and the ones who were not so lucky to be born into said privilege. I hate that she gave up at such a young age and didn’t feel like being smart is enough to get through the education system and that she didn’t believe in herself enough that she could be one of those privileged students one day. So sad. How many kids like her go through that right now? I’m honestly afraid of the answer. The answer should be zero. All students should be given the same academic opportunities afforded to private schools, well, not really, but at least close to it. These kids should not worry about the inequality of the education system, they should worry about their grades and doing well in school. Oh dear, here I am again, going off and making another social commentary.

As for the other shenanigans happening, I really liked the phone call between Gloria and Aleida. It breaks my heart that Gloria wasn’t being honest with Aleida because when Aleida finds out that Daya is possibly going to max for shooting that guard, it will be twice as painful. I know Gloria was torn being a mother herself, probably imagining herself in Aleida’s shoes and not wanting to hear her daughter going to max so she just wanted to protect Aleida from that.

I got a kick out of seeing Aleida again and I loved her talking to that TV producer and correcting her “No, Judy King was in prison with ME!” Should be interesting to see if she will get that interview and if she’ll even show up in front of Litchfield.

Not sure why Piper is butthurt about Alex blabbing to her resistance followers about killing a guy. Sometimes I wish Piper was no longer on this show because I just don’t understand her and can’t relate to whatever the hell the writers write for her.

Flacca making a Day In the Life of Litchfield video was great, but it sucks that she focused on Maritza getting all the attention from the Internet trolls. It’s okay, Flacca. Those comments were not good anyway. Maritza using kitchen products and giving a tutorial on how to apply makeup with them was great. I wonder if it really works?

Ruiz finding out that Piscatella hasn’t put in the paper work to extend her sentence for an extra five years might be a good thing. Maybe her and Gloria can find a way to organize this riot and make it a bit less riot-y?

Fuck Doggett and fuck Coates and fuck ths fucking storyline. I hate it so much and it’s possibly the worst storyline this show has ever done. Why the hell does she have such a hard-on for her rapist? I don’t believe the bullshit she said to Boo about chemicals and whatever else nonsense she was saying. She is stupid for giving Coates that gun, but maybe it’s the best thing that could have happened for the inmates, that way they’re all on an even playing field. I hope that last scene meant that Coates collapsed and had a heart attack and is now dead.