“The United States of America doesn’t have kill lists, LeAnne”

Episode Title: Chapter 57
Original Air Date: May 30, 2017
Episode Number: 5×05

Episode Description

Nine weeks after Election Day, the Underwoods work to consolidate their power. Leann tries to track down a missing Aidan Macallan.

My Review

Interesting. So the next president and VP are being voted on by the Congress and the Senate, respectively. Didn’t see this coming. This reminds me of what happened in Veep last season where the Congress had to vote on the next president since the electoral vote was also a tie. For Frank’s sake, hopefully he won’t suffer the same fate as Selina Meyer.

Claire spying on boring Tom…no one cares. It irks me that he has Secret Service detail tailing him and that taxpayers’ money is being wasted on him. Driving to NYC to meet a woman. Very nice. As if I don’t hate him already, this is just pushing it too far.

No one gives a crap about Doug and that woman he’s fucking. I fast forwarded that nonsense. I loved that he got a scolding from Frank for not doing anything in regards to locking up the New Hampshire and Wisconsin votes while LeAnn did her duty and delivered Maine for Frank. Fuck you, Doug.

Macallan should get together with Journalist Tom because I’m sure they have a lot to talk about. They recast the actress who played Lisa, Rachel’s girlfriend, from a few seasons ago. I hope she doesn’t end up dead. Doug is a wily one and I’m sure it won’t be long before he knows about Lisa’s meeting with Tom.

I’m confused about Sean, the guy working for Journalist Tom. Is he helping Seth and, thus, helping the Underwood administration so that they’ll be one step ahead in regards to the investigation? Someone explain what’s going on with this two.

Claire ripping the VP a new one was great. Did not like his comeback, though. Resort to name-calling? That’s all he can do? Amateur. So if Claire wins the vice presidency, this means she will be acting president until Congress comes into a consensus as to who will be the next president? Wow, did not see that coming.

Conway and Hannah are losing their minds and are getting impatient by the day. I wonder if the show will have Conway elected and then we’ll have a split ticket. But what will become of Frank? Hmm.

“Shut up or you’re fired”

Episode Title: Chapter 56
Original Air Date: May 30, 2017
Episode Number: 5×04

Episode Description

With a tight race and low voter turnout on Election Day, things look grim for Frank. But he’s still got one more trick up his sleeve.

My Review

Is anyone else not enjoying this season so far? The Underwoods are becoming such caricature villains now and I’m rooting for them to stumble and fall because them always winning and getting their way through devious means make my stomach turn. I didn’t mind it so much in previous seasons, but all these election machinations is coming too close to what happened in the last election that it’s turning me off this story and this season.

What was that about Frank enumerating the years and saying “One nation, Underwood.” Are they really going to alter the term limits for the presidency? Are they so deluded that they think an Underwood can stay in office until 2036? They have way too many enemies now and this “house of cards” that they have built will all inevitably fall down. Surely they can’t sustain this for the next 20 years? Someone will have to squeal and reveal every wrong that both of them have done. Jackie and Remy need to come back.

I wanted Claire to push Tom and his boring ass off the stairs. Anyone else? I just hate this character so much and he brings my enjoyment of this show (what’s left of it) to a complete halt every time his boring face appears.

“With few exceptions, I don’t trust anyone or anything”

Episode Title: Chapter 55
Original Air Date: May 30, 2017
Episode Number: 5×03

Episode Description

The day before the election, Conway holds a 24-hour Skype session with voters, while Frank and Claire stump in key states and try to discredit him.

My Review

Is this really the beginning of the end for the Underwoods? Would the show actually have them lose this election? Will they pull a twist at the last minute that will leave the Underwoods in the White House even if Conway wins the popular vote and/or the electoral college votes?

I hate Doug so him etching his initials on the bottom of that drawer made me roll my eyes. He is aware that if a new president is elected, they will more than likely get rid of that desk and get himself a new one, right? Idiot. I don’t feel any kind of sympathy for him because I think he’s worse than Frank and Claire combined. I hope that Seth is the one to burn him and to take him down because that will be such sweet revenge.

We still don’t know what really happened with Conway rescuing that soldier. I wonder if he’s lying about it or is not being entirely honest and just let the story get ahead of itself without correcting anyone because it was already too late. Hannah is in on it so I wonder who will crack first. I do like seeing her be supportive of Will, though.

Frank watching over Claire and Tom as they were sleeping was very creepy. For a second there I thought they were going to have a threesome, lol.

I didn’t recognize the movie that Claire and Frank were watching as part of their election tradition (it was Double Indemnity), but I thought it was cute that they reenact some of the scenes.

Is Frank going to end up dead when the show is finished? He’s been coughing non-stop in this episode and I wonder if he’s suffering from the effects of the surgery?

“The past doesn’t disappear on command, Francis. Not even for presidents.”

Episode Title: Chapter 54
Original Air Date: May 30, 2017
Episode Number: 5×02

Episode Description

Frank and his team work to leverage support in key states by any means necessary. Claire learns some upsetting news about one of Frank’s friends.

My Review

This is my episodic comment about Tom and how bad of a character he is and how he’s bringing the show down and stopping it in its tracks whenever he’s onscreen and it sucks because most of his scenes are with Claire and I happen to find her fascinating so to fast-forward their scenes is a bit tough for me (although I had no qualms about ff-ing their sex scene). They are just so boring and have no chemistry whatsoever. Why is Claire even with him? What is so amazing about Tom? Is the sex that good? She can do so much better. Where is that artist guy from the first season?

Frank and Claire orchestrating this fear of terrorism just makes me shake my head. They will do anything to win this election, even going to war for the wrong reasons. They are lying to the American public and to everyone else and it’s going to be great to see these two meet their demise. I can’t honestly root for two people who will stop at nothing just so they will come out on top and have no regard for anyone else.

The whole cyber attack is scary because I’m sure that this is something that could happen in reality. How secure are our networks, really?

If only Conway was a bit more likable, I would be rooting for him to win over the Underwoods, but he hasn’t been fleshed out that well yet, in my opinion. I want to know why he doesn’t want his time in the military to be brought up during the campaign. Is he hiding something?

Seth’s meeting with that Bridget woman…was she an assistant to someone who’s leading the investigation against Frank and Claire? And was Seth’s deal to her genuine, that he’s going to offer up Doug in exchange for immunity and anonymity? And he also met Journalist Tom’s new colleague so I wonder if this meeting will come up again in the future.

Leann might be in cahoots with the Underwoods in this whole terrorism plot, but she gets points for not liking Claire’s Tom (Seriously, why did the writers have two characters named Tom? It’s confusing.) and for not trusting him. I hope she figures out a way to get Claire’s Tom off the campaign and off Claire’s staff.

It was interesting to see Cathy (she’s the Secretary of State, right?) talking to Donald, former VP, and trying to get him to join her and protest Frank’s war vendetta. It’s too bad Donald is too jaded and doesn’t see the point anymore in going against Frank. Really hope this meeting doesn’t get to Frank because Cathy is probably already close to getting on the shit list.