“My stomach has done so many backflips, I can join the Olympic team”

Episode Title: The Glove That Rocks the Cradle
Original Air Date: May 30, 2017
Episode Number: 7×16

Episode Description

As Detective Furey closes in on uncovering what happened to Archer Dunhill, the Liars team up to protect one of their own. Hanna continues to struggle with the idea that Lucas might be connected to A.D. even in the face of more evidence. Emily surprises Ali with a heartfelt gesture that is undone by A.D.’s machinations; and the Liars gain insight into where the idea for the game originated.

My Review

There are only four more episodes and I can’t believe the show is STILL dragging its feet in resolving some of the questions/mysteries on this show. Is the last episode just going to be the cast reading out loud all the questions and then IMK answering them? Because at the rate they’re going, that’s the only way that the majority of the questions will be answered. Seriously.

Enough of the romantic relationship shenanigans already. Yes, Emily and Alison are finally together, whatever, I’m sure their shippers are happy, but can we put a stop to their relationship and the baby storylines from now on? They got their resolution so let’s move on.

They need to also resolve the Ezria crap next episode and then have nothing to do with it for the rest of episodes. Ezra needs to go away and have the focus shift back on to the girls because I don’t care about anyone else but them (and this includes Mona).

Now that those are out of the way…this episode was okay. So Lucas did contribute to the girls being tortured while in high school because Alison was mean to him and the rest of the girls didn’t do anything about it. Felt sorry for him, but the lengths kids will go to to get revenge on someone is crazy. I thought it was sweet that he invested so much on Hanna and her career that he lost his money, but that it’s worth it because it was for her. Damn. if I were Hanna, I’d feel so guilty. She didn’t even give the guy a hug!

Mona’s speech to Hanna was very good and I stood up and cheered. Mona has proven herself so many times that she’s on the girls’ side and yet they keep on shutting her out. Hanna should tell the others that Mona knows because what else do they have to lose?

I was so shocked by Aria’s actions in this episode, doing AD’s bidding and vandalizing the nursery in Ali’s house. Damn. DAAAAAAAMN! I can’t believe she’s betraying her friends like this. (Why is she doing this again? I have forgotten the reason.) She’s willing to hurt them emotionally and psychologically to what end? Spencer is going to start suspecting Aria real soon if Aria keeps on acting sketchy. It doesn’t help that Aria dropped her earring and lied not so convincingly about hearing it fall on the carpeted floor.

Spencer stealing the thumb drive…oy vey. Caleb and Hanna destroying the receipts and turning off the surveillance system…double oy vey. Have these people not learn from their past mistakes? Surely the cops would be on to them and they would be the likely suspects. Ugh, so frustrating. They should be smarter than this.

“Why carry a wig around if you can’t use it?”

Episode Title: Kimmy Does a Puzzle
Original Air Date: May 19,2017
Episode Number: 3×08

Episode Description

Titus makes a shocking confession about the cruise. When a hurricane hits, Kimmy turns their apartment into a “fun-ker” filled with games and puzzles.

My Review

OMG, I think this is my favorite episode of the season yet. I couldn’t stop laughing throughout the entire episode and I kept on pausing it because I was laughing so hard and didn’t want to miss anything. I’m so glad we now know what happened to Titus on that cruise ship and it’s even funnier than I could have imagined.

Him thinking he ate Dionne Warwick; him poisoning Dionne and by accident, the entire ship; him being the lead on Mahogany and killing it. Just comedy gold all around. There were so many great lines that I will list towards the end of this review.

Kimmy and Titus’ friendship has always been the best thing about this show so I’m glad that it was the focus of this episode and that Kimmy called out Titus for being selfish because it’s true. Titus admitting that Kimmy makes him a better person and then finally relenting and giving her what she’s always wanted brought tears to my eyes. It was a beautiful speech and even though the high five scene was cheesy, I couldn’t help but smile.

Maya Rudolph as Dionne Warwick was perfect. Loved all the NJ shoutouts (I refuse to call them ‘digs’). Jersey Proud indeed. I laughed at the “Lea Michele” intro and them not letting us see the actress’ face.

And now for the hilarious lines that were my faves:

“I ate Grammy-Award winner Dionne Warwick!”

“Shells can be pasta.”

“Porno with dead animals?”
“Girl, that’s so much worse than what it actually is!”

“The Ocean Skank sank.”

“I’m not playing a game where the whole point is to pay rent.”

“You can’t kick me out of here. One of my fake names is on that lease.”

“Have a nice life!”
“You know I don’t!”

“I’m a moral fetus, Kim. I absorb niceness from your umbilicals. Don’t abort me!”